o c t o b e r

“When you handle yourself, use your head; when you handle others, use your heart.”

—Donna Reed

I’m a lot.

I am.

I know I am.

I’ve always known I am.

I apologize all the time.

I talk way too much.

I take up too much space.

I’m a lot.

I’m passionate.

I don’t tiptoe. I jump in without looking back.

I used to think being a lot was my worst quality. I thought it was the reason I was misunderstood and lonely. I thought it was my greatest setback.

And so I quieted myself up. I put myself, my true self, into a small box.

I played small.

I bottled my excitement.

I convinced myself to become less.

BUT I WAS NOT MADE TO BE LESS.

I am too much, but it’s not my kryptonite. It’s what makes me dynamite.

I give hard. I forgive hard. I work hard. I laugh hard. I cry hard. I mess up hard, but then I get back up and I keep on moving forward.

I dream hard. I believe hard.

I live fierce. And I love free.

There is nothing wrong with that.

There is nothing wrong with meeting someone and instantly clicking with them. There is nothing wrong with telling people how much you love them. There is nothing wrong with laughing and crying and feeling other people’s pain.

If you’re an “a lot” person like I am. If you bounce around from place to place. If it takes a while for you to settle down, and you lie in bed at night wondering what in the world is wrong with you, and oh-my-gosh why did you say “you too” when the waiter told you to enjoy your meal. That’s such an odd thing to say.

It’s okay.

You’re okay.

It’s going to be okay.

Stop beating yourself up. Stop with the constant worrying that people won’t like you and start liking yourself.

Cause, yeah, you’re a lot.

You’re a lot of love.

You’re a lot of joy.

You’re a lot of beautiful.

You’re a lot of real.

You’re a lot of passionate.

You’re a lot of empathetic.

You’re a lot of what makes a good friend.

And you’re also a lot of what this world needs. Don’t hide, sister. Don’t shy away. Don’t back down. Don’t try to be someone else. Don’t shrug off your gifts.

Don’t change. Ever.

But do breathe.

I’m a lot.

I know I am.

And that’s okay.